Silent Ache

To the mother who is holding it together while everything inside is breaking open and aching —
You know that if you let go for even a moment, everything might fall apart around you.
So you hold it in.
You pretend that everything is fine. That you are fine.

You let the good girl in you run the show —
because that is what you were always told:
“She’s such a good girl. Always sweet. Always polite. Always well presented.”

And so you carry that same narrative into motherhood —
the perfect mother who does it all.

The clean house.
The disciplined kids.
The happy husband.
The successful career.
The well-kept appearance.

But inside, you are slowly dying.
The mental load is becoming too much.
You do not know who you are anymore.
And you cannot stop long enough to ask.

You cannot reflect.
You cannot dig deeper.
You cannot feel all your emotions.
You cannot let go.
You just…cannot.

Always the whispers in your head:
What will people think?
What will people say?
Will my husband still love me?
Will my kids be happy?
Will we have enough?
Will I love the new version of me, or will I hate her?
Will she break down everything I worked so hard to build?

So many questions.
But no time.
No space.
No strength to pause…
and answer.

But mama,
you were never meant to hold it all alone.
You were never meant to carry the weight of the world in silence.

It is safe to soften.
It is safe to feel.
It is safe to break open.

The world will not fall apart if you let yourself fall into your truth.
You will not lose everything —
you might just finally find yourself.

You do not have to be perfect to be worthy.
You do not have to hold it together to be loved.

There is strength in the breaking.
There is power in the release.
There is beauty in the becoming.

You have permission to let go.
To breathe.
To feel.
To be.